2011-06-26

how to deal with negative emotions- copied


Fear : It is the expectancy that something bad is about to happen. The message of this emotion is for us to prepare for it. Take action and think of the best ways to deal with the situation. After you’ve prepared as well as you can, sit back and have faith. If there is nothing else you can do, there’s no point in worrying about it.

Hurt : People feel hurt when they believe we have suffered a loss. It tells them that an expectation that they had was not met. Such as when you expected someone to do something but they didn’t. To deal with it, first evaluate your perception. Maybe there hasn’t been any loss. Maybe no one is actually trying to hurt you. Are you judging the situation too soon? You may have just misinterpreted the situation.

If your perception is correct, properly communicate with the person involved about your sense of loss. When you do that, usually the feelings of hurt will disappear.

Frustration : When you are frustrated it means you feel that you are not getting the returns for your efforts, and you feel that you could be doing better than you currently are. This tells you that you should be more flexible in your approach. Brainstorm other approaches or get input from others. Know that frustration means your problem is within reach. Rather than get upset over it, take heart from the fact that you are close to your goal.

Disappointment : Disappointment is the feeling you get when you sense that you have lost out on something forever. When what you got is less than what you had expected, you feel disappointed. First, take the positives from this disappointment. Nothing is all bad. Know that you are guided & protected by the higher power. Everything happens for a reason, so trust that what happened is the best option in the ultimate long term plan of your life.

Follow that up by setting a new goal that is even better and more exciting for your life. Disappointment is also a call to develop more patience and flexibility in approach. Realize that perhaps what you need is to wait a little longer, and develop a different approach to achieve the goal.


Anger and guilt : Every one of us has our own set of values and standards. These standards govern every part of our lives. These are the behaviors/actions that we set as acceptable or not for ourselves and others. When one of the standards is violated by yourself or someone else, you will feel angry (at the other person or at yourself) and/or guilty (of yourself).

To deal with anger, you have a few choices ;

1. Evaluate whether it is possible that you misinterpreted the situation. That in fact no value has been violated.

2. If someone else violated your value, know that your ‘rule’ may not be the correct one. Just because something is right for you, does not mean it is right for everyone else. Everyone has their own set of values, the person probably has no idea that they violated one of your values. Follow up by communicating to the person neutrally about the importance of that standard to you. This will ensure that it never happens again.

3. Accept that you have violated one of your values, and vow never to do it again. Brainstorm ways to prevent it from happening again, and how you would deal with it if you are caught in the same situation in the future.


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